Housework is much more fun when you're chatting someone up.

I've been nursing the same beer for two hours. It's a Malheur, a 10%ABV Belgian with a pronounced barnyard-y twang. It's actually better now than when I opened it: the esters aren't quite so overwhelming and the carbonation has settled down a bit. Still, the fact that I haven't been able to finish even one beer makes me think that perhaps I wasn't in the mood for a beer after all.

I don't like to drink alone. I don't like to eat alone. I don't like to exercise alone. I am not suited to employment that doesn't keep me around people. I'd make a terrible hermit, so Unibombering is right out, and I'd probably be a poor candidate for being marooned on a desert island.

This is the thing that I need to get over. When I don't have a boyfriend (i.e. someone who is either hanging out with me or open to receiving late phone calls), I lose weight because nothing sounds good enough to eat to be worth the trouble of making or ordering it. I lose sleep because I stay up way too late reading, dicking around on the internet or blathering on my secret blog. I'm a truly extroverted person. I do fine with roommates, I love entertaining, and I can work 50 or 60 hours a week for a month before realizing that having a rewarding, social job is not the same as having a rewarding social life.

When I was in my early twenties I solved this problem by working full time, going to school full time and partying like a rock star. That's all great, but a lifestyle like that could kill you if you let it go on too long. Now of course, it's all different. I still pack in social and work stuff on the 3 or 4 nights a week I don't have my kids, but on the nights I do have them, things are pretty calm. I do stuff with them till they go to bed, but after 8:30 or so, I tiptoe around a quiet house and entertain myself with activities like trying to drink a whole beer or sweeping the floors. I need a hobby. My goal is to figure out how to maintain my energy level without having somebody else around.

So right now, I guess I'll go to bed, sober and not all that tired, because that's what grownups do. Right?