Pardon me for a moment...

... I'm going to lapse into a full-on "Dear Diary" bitch session. Feel free to skip this one.

I've been reflecting more on my idea that spring triggers some sort of biological imperative that makes men want to be in a relationship. I'd like to expand it, given my track record over the last month, to posit simply that springtime biological urges make men do crazy things. Either that or I was visited by the pheromone fairy (pheromone phairy?) in my sleep. April was a rough month for me. GS, the one who was "going to be [my] friend for the next 40 years", exhibited some truly bad behavior: first, refusing to leave my house when I asked him to, saying "no, I think I'll hang out for a while until you calm down". What?! Why did I even speak to him again? (Well, I know why. Our sons are friends and we've developed a business relationship that is very mutually beneficial. I'd hate to throw that away, so I've been trying to be nice. Besides, GS was my last real boyfriend. We broke up just after Thanksgiving last year. I hate to just cut people out of my life completely, especially if they never really did much wrong, apart from being wrong for me...)

Then, I caught him in a couple of lies. He told me he'd spoken to Don who'd told him of Jeff #4 that he (Don) could have told either of us that it wouldn't work. Don a) is very professional, and b) introduced us, hoping we'd hit it off, so that was clearly wrong, but I didn't pursue it until a few days later when GS told me that he'd spoken to the gal who was once married to Jeff #5 and said she'd mentioned that we'd be a terrible match. That was an act of obvious desperation -- she's a therapist and wouldn't volunteer an opinion like that AND she'd explicitly told me that she thought we'd be great. So I checked and sure enough... So I confronted him, and after a full 10 minutes of "I'd never lie to you!" and "I swear to god, it's the truth!" he blundered into a really obvious falsification and had to come clean. His excuse? "I wasn't trying to sabotage your relationships; I just knew those guys weren't right for you!) Does that sound stalker-ish or what? So I think he is a little bit stalking me, because he's been at every event I had mentioned in the last few months -- the Earth Day celebration, a movie screening that I was loosely connected with, even a restaurant I was at for a kids' playdate that we'd scheduled way in advance... I believe he's harmless. When I see him out, it seems that all the testosterone, self-confidence, and joie-de-vivre has been sucked out of him. Sad, but no longer my problem.

Oh, and Jeff #4 ended 6 days after I told him I was ready to give it a try. (I actually introduced him as my boyfriend to a couple of people!) He had a middle of the night freak-out and accused me of ignoring him ("Of course I'm ignoring you -- I'm sleeping!!), got out of bed, got dressed and, after a short but heated discussion, went home. I could of de-escalated it by stroking his ego and playing into his histrionic fantasy, but I decided not to, because, give me a fucking break -- the guy is obviously suffering from a major case of arrested development. He's 40 years old for chrissake. I was ready to let him leave. Anyway, I was feeling morally superior for having been the victim of an unfair breakup until I saw on his facebook page that he was spinning it that I broke up with him. Whatever, dude. Have it your way.

And I had to let Jeff #5 go because it had become clear to me that I just wasn't ever going to feel any more for him than I did right then. He was disappointed. I hate disappointing people.

So maybe GS was right. Not that that enters into it. Then GJ pointed out to me that a good way to stop making bad decisions regarding men would be to start make good decisions regarding men, so I'm going to try that for a while.